“It’s easier to build a child then to fix an adult.”  ~Jerry Moe

Consider your Parenting Style

Giving Orders

This style of parenting is often called authoritarian.  The parents are strict.  They set a lot of rules.  The children are expected to obey the rules exactly.  Often strict parents reward and punish children to keep them in line.

What Do Children Learn?  Rewards lead children to expect payment for “being good.”  When children are punished for “being bad”, they may learn to fear and resent parents.  Children need freedom to grow and learn.  They also need the chance to make choices.  This lets them learn limits and responsibility.

Giving In

Giving in is also called permissive parenting.  Permissive parents set no limits.  Children grow up without guidelines.  The parents give in to whatever the children may want.  We often say that these children are “spoiled”.

What Do Children Learn?  Without limits, children will have trouble getting along with others.  These children usually learn to do as they please.  They don’t learn to care about the feelings and rights of others.  Society sets limits.  Children with no limits on their behavior will have difficulty learning how to behave in society.

Giving Choices

Democratic parenting is based on equality and respect.  We all have different abilities, responsibilities, and experiences.  But we are still equally worthwhile as humans.  Does this mean that your child has the same privileges as you do?  No.  It means that you recognize the importance of your child’s wishes.  It also means that you involve your child in decision making when appropriate.  Democratic parents give a child choice that fit the child’s age and development.