PARENTING TIPS   Tip #1   Some people have so much respect for their superiors they have none left for themselves.” –Peter McArthur   Respect for some parents is based on control.  He/she who has control (power) deserves respect.  In fact, a parent may demand respect.  In this context, it is not respect but promotes an environment based on fear.  It leads to a one-sided relationship leading to resentment and in some cases rebellion.  Respect for some children means “never make me do something I do not want to do.  I am a child and it is your job to make me happy.”    Considerations for Parents Children who feel they are treated fairly will come to respect their parents. Children who feel they are treated fairly will listen to the opinions of their parents more then those that do not feel respected. Pick your battles.  Some things are more important then others.  Tip:  toilet training and eating (food) can result in power struggles with young children; what children wear can become power struggles for all age children; curfews and some other discipline methods can become power struggles for older children.  Have few rules that are based on respect and safety.  Then enforce them. Be flexible with non respect or safety issues.  Bed times and curfews can be flexible. Parents can choose.  Do they want a relationship that will last into adulthood or do they want children to “run” from the relationship as soon as they are able?  A relationship based on respect will last forever.   Tip #2   “Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.”--Bill Cosby    As infants become mobile the process of learning what is OK and what isn’t has to begin.  To help our child stay safe, we need to help him begin to understand what he may do and what he may not do.   Infants 7 months and older need to be redirected when they are either attempting to do something that is unsafe or infringing upon the rights of others (like breaking a parent’s fragile object, or putting all of the toilet paper in the toilet).   How does one “discipline” an infant?   No parent wants to be in constant conflict with a child.  One thing parents can do to reduce the conflict is to baby proof the house.  Gates can be placed across stairways, fragile items can be put out of reach, electrical outlets can be covered, the bathroom door can be closed, etc.  Playthings that are appropriate for the baby can be put within baby’s reach.   What also works with newly mobile babies is redirecting their attention.  Babies who find a fragile object that interests them, can often be coaxed to focus on a more appropriate object.  Sometimes moving the child to another room or another part of the room that has many interesting playthings is all it takes.  Babies aren’t known for their great memories, and often forget about the inappropriate plaything when introduced to something more right for them.   With dangerous or fragile objects that can’t be moved out of reach, like a stereo, redirecting the child’s attention may be accompanied by a verbal prohibition:  “No touch.”  It’s believed that infants develop an understanding of the word “no” somewhere between the 8th and 10th month of life.   If we’re firm in letting the child know the object is off limits, the child eventually will comprehend our message.   Printer Friendly Version Add to my Favorites